I am from the Do or Die... Never Ran. Never Will. (Unless of course... they shootin') Easy!"
August 25, 2005
KIT for KAT
DISCLAIMER: To all the men out there, arm yourselves
with one of these!!!
Boy what a difference a day makes, cause today my momentum is L-o-o-w. Just not feeling it today. Actually I not feeling for people, and I'm on a very short fuse, so I hope my "micro managing" boss stays away!
Side note: Don't you just hate "micro managers..." Have you ever thought of knocking your boss' block off??? What about a dear unsupsecting associate, or flaky friend. Why is during this time of the month, we women feel to tell the god "awful" truth to someone, in the most "blunt" of ways (whom I'm kidding, I'm blunt everyday).
What was the big deal about this apple that Eve bit, that we women are still serving her felon sentence to this day???? What was in it darn apple anyway,
Eden version of "pcp?"
(Last I checked an apple was suppose to be good for ya) But... no God saw it other wise, and thus sentenced Eve/Women to be aware of our bodies, endure God awful labor pains, and have a monthly "horrid" reminder called our PERIODS... where in much we get to express our gratitude for this gift from Eve, with feelings of: sadness, anger, lost, down, clingy, worried, woke-up-this-morning-and-got-myself-gun, junk food cravings, not to mention the different degrees of menstrual cramps, and one tell tale sign that the gift is coming from Eve each month is our "MOODINESS." (Pay attention fellas, I had a roomate who use to mark mine and his girlfriends time down on his calendar, and stay clear those days. Smart guy).
Now what did God give all the "Adams" of the world, oh took it easy on them.
Morning Hard Ons, Jock Itch, occasional Blue Balls (and I due mean occasional, cause you can always call "Hannah" and her five sisters). Oh yeah and how could I forget he sentened them to watch PORNO. Way to Go God! Look out for your Boyz.
If I remember correctly Adam bit the damn apple too, which makes him an accomplice, he should of gotten a stiffer sentence, oh yeah (some of) ya'll did (Receding Hairlines, and mid life crisis... can't say the trade off is fair) But then again, I've seen some of ya'll behind the ear hair lines... lol!
All right God we're even.
(By the way...Are you a woman? lol)
Sssh! she's writing.. brooklyn babe8/25/2005 
42 Comments:
  • At 25/8/05 3:18 PM, Blogger Jdid said…

    hey morning hard ons and jock itch are serious issues lol

     
  • At 25/8/05 3:35 PM, Blogger sonyared said…

    Yes, I have actually been to the point where I wanted to see heads roll (well not literally, but u know what I mean..something)and when it is PMS time..it's sooo bad, so bad I feel like I can hear my damn heart beating...thump, thump, thump...goes the heart. Yeah if Eve didn't bite that apple and would have just obeyed....well we are stronger species because mw MUST go throught his crap..yuck.

     
  • At 25/8/05 5:15 PM, Blogger WIP said…

    "Stiffer sentence" and that he did (pun intendedn I'm sure). Lest we forget they get to Stand. While. Peeing. Ugh. That can truly come in handy in those nasty public restrooms. But the similarities are endless. Sweaty balls (private region). Private areas need shaving or at least trimming (IMO) at times. Closet metrosexuals if you ask me. Men should be as particular 'bout things. And they are. Secretly.

    You are too funny. I read another of your post and *LOL* in the dark while the family slept sound. I'm-ma blog roll you as soon as I update.

    TTFN

     
  • At 25/8/05 6:37 PM, Blogger Deirdre said…

    Thanks for your words of wisdom on my spot.

    You cracked me up!! with this one.

    You changed your pic I see.

    I'm still reading!! bb:)

     
  • At 25/8/05 6:52 PM, Blogger SoftSpoken said…

    Gurlllll I needed this! But I always tell people women are only moody once a month. I have lost count when it comes to how many times a month a man is moody.

    BTW, thanks for your kind words and my blog. I needed them too. And you're more than welcome to add me to your blog.I have added you.

     
  • At 25/8/05 7:48 PM, Blogger button_nose said…

    You speak the truth sista!! Men!!! I commented on Mnshim's site stating that all of our problems start with MEN!

    MENstral pain, cycle, cramps.....
    MENopause.....

    Need I say more.....

    Smooches :)

     
  • At 25/8/05 7:48 PM, Blogger button_nose said…

    Oh by the way love the music!

     
  • At 25/8/05 9:14 PM, Blogger Nicky said…

    Funny post. Thanks for dropping by my site, I'm 35 for the record. LOL

     
  • At 25/8/05 11:51 PM, Blogger Anna Mason said…

    TOTALLY! I am so there, TODAY. I am ready to knock everyone's chip off except for mine. It is amazing how much power PMS has. You left a comment on my blog, asking about Firework...no, I don't work in that. I have never been taught in any program so just play around in them really messily. Do you design? What is it that you do?

     
  • At 26/8/05 12:14 AM, Anonymous Coley said…

    I heard that girl!!!! I'm luvin the PMS survival kit up top. Classic!

     
  • At 26/8/05 2:07 AM, Blogger HighMaintenanceHussy said…

    LOL Sing it, sistah! ;)

     
  • At 26/8/05 2:08 AM, Blogger Cutie Cola said…

    Don't get me started on PMS issues! It's just not fair. I get so emotional and moody that I don't recognize myself at times. The best part of PMS for me (Yes! There's a good part to it) is that I get horny as hell!! :-)

     
  • At 26/8/05 8:31 AM, Blogger The Foxybrown Show said…

    LOL LOL LOL
    Speechless!

     
  • At 26/8/05 11:57 AM, Blogger UberGoober said…

    Brooklyn,

    Two and counting! *GRIN*

     
  • At 26/8/05 12:41 PM, Blogger Byebye said…

    I'm glad I had the chance to see your blog. You're definitely a comedian. I will have to add you to my list said bloggers. As far as that PMS thing....I'm glad my balls don't shed blood every 28 days. But your cycle does coincide with the 28 day moon cycle. This is why women have more game than us. You are naturally insync. So feel blessed for that. And yeah, blue balls, jock itch, and a hard on every time the sun rises are formiddable issues Ms. Lady.

     
  • At 26/8/05 3:14 PM, Blogger DIVA said…

    LOL!! I'm still cracking up over the PMS kit. Clever indeed!!


    DIVA

     
  • At 26/8/05 3:37 PM, Blogger SoftSpoken said…

    Well gurl I came over here looking for the link to your social group can you send a gurl and invite???

    myowngroove@hotmail.com

     
  • At 26/8/05 9:56 PM, Blogger Msnhim said…

    All I Can say is AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
  • At 27/8/05 12:42 AM, Anonymous Cymple said…

    I love love love the survival kit! lol

    Great post. I think men suffer from their own version of PMS and emotionally it's worse than ours. lol

     
  • At 27/8/05 6:11 PM, Blogger K said…

    did u say behind the ear hairlines???! lmao!

     
  • At 27/8/05 6:57 PM, Blogger mytruth said…

    You are out of control..lol

     
  • At 27/8/05 7:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Goose-stepping with the Commission
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  • At 27/8/05 7:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Napoleon Dynamite pens nixed
    From Terri Mauro , Your Guide to Parenting Special Needs . FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now! August 27, 2005 Napoleon Dynamite pens nixed Sweet! The Napoleon Dynamite pens that earned a spot in last Saturday's Hall ...
    Nice blog

    you might be interested in my mesothelioma treatment site

    Keep up the good work

     
  • At 27/8/05 8:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Software is the soul to the lifeless body of the hardware."
    raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake recipe

     
  • At 28/8/05 12:05 PM, Blogger Luke Cage said…

    Holy sh#@!!!! This was great luv! I knew I was in for a treat when I saw the survival kit the moment I got here. Nice inclusion dear. Yeahhh, good ol' God the creator.

    He sure took it easy on us guys. Then again, he kinda flipped the script and gave us WOMAN, so consider us even..lol.. Geez, I'm gonna get it for that one. Mwwahhh! I finally made it here and my links have been updated. Consider me a new frequent visitor!

     
  • At 28/8/05 2:45 PM, Blogger Laylah Queen of the Night said…

    Dang, I love it.

    I would add to the PMS kit some relexology, Nexxus Humectress, Ginko Biloba (for him) and for that time of the month our cellies should go on free nights and weekend mode.

     
  • At 28/8/05 5:58 PM, Blogger brooklyn babe said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 28/8/05 6:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good to talk Search engines are embracing new ways of communication
    In the third and final of Click Online's series looking at competition among the big portals and search engines, Spencer Kelly reports on the move into messaging, photo-sharing and centralisation of ...
    Awesome Blog! I added you to my bookmarks. Feel free to check out this cool hip hop rap site/blog, my boys run it!

     
  • At 28/8/05 6:11 PM, Blogger brooklyn babe said…

    Happy Sunday Folks!
    @ JDid... one is more serious than the other... lol.

    @ Beauty... MUSIC CALMS THE SAVAGE BEAST, AND Let's just say I had a monster in last week.... I had to Angie on here that song it hot... but will change so it wont get too old on ya...

    @ Foxy not you speechless..lol, dayum, there's first. (*jokes*)
    @ your welcome, and thanks, and done.

    @Luke Cage
    Don't get cut Luke... (I think Tina was experiencing that time of the month, when she whupped Ike's ass... lol.) Glad my time has passed, and the sun shine is back shinin' (whew!)
    'Preciate cha' peekin in, and UR blog bud rolled, Right back at cha!).

    All write I was going to hit ya'll up back, but a chick gotta go eat some din, be back in a few...
    time for a station dinner break.

     
  • At 28/8/05 6:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just passing through and saw your site. Great Blog! I'll check in occasionally.

    I have a computer service Atlanta site/blog.

    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

     
  • At 28/8/05 6:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey not too bad ! Nice blog. I bookmarked it. I have a site Agent Orange mostly about VietNam, agent orange in vietnam and such. Check it out if you get a chance.

     
  • At 28/8/05 6:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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    Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
    I have a home business site/blog. It pretty much covers home business related stuff.

    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

     
  • At 28/8/05 8:02 PM, Blogger brooklyn babe said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 28/8/05 8:03 PM, Blogger brooklyn babe said…

    I'm back. And to all you Anonymous Spammers, I'm about to treat ya'll like Nino Brown... and "cancel" ya'll hoes!!!!

     
  • At 28/8/05 8:22 PM, Blogger Chubby Chocolate said…

    Hey there,

    Thanks for the comment. I am in LOVE with Idris Elba (the guy in the Angie video)! He's a West African-Brit who loves big women (so he stated in a magazine article some years back). I LOVE HIM!!!! I want to add him to my blog, but I can't find a good pic of him. You've just made my day...

     
  • At 28/8/05 11:19 PM, Blogger brooklyn babe said…

    "Chubby Chocolate" - OOoo thank's for the name plug... that Brotha... is "F-Y-N-N-E." And he has just taking UPS commercial to a whole new height.
    "What can Brown Do you for you???? " I ask....lmao
    Night!

     
  • At 29/8/05 9:17 AM, Blogger The Foxybrown Show said…

    Happy Monday!
    Welcome back to the work week!

     
  • At 29/8/05 9:33 AM, Blogger obifromsouthlondon said…

    God's got alot to answer to lol. Is it true about the moon and menstrual cycles?

     
  • At 29/8/05 11:20 AM, Blogger Knockout Zed said…

    Do not, I repeat, do not belittle the pain and suffering blue balls has brought to millions of men daily. I do not take this lightly! And no, Miss Palmer is not an apt substitute for "the fertile crescent".

     
  • At 29/8/05 12:24 PM, Blogger Danielle said…

    hey gurl firt time i am hitting your blog up ill be back like the blog and hope your feeling better!

     
  • At 29/8/05 2:43 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    morning hard on's can be taken care of

     
  • At 30/8/05 1:35 AM, Blogger amandaviolet. said…

    I love your blog, and i'd like to agree with you. we definatly got the short straw on god's list of bodily ailments. blue balls and jock itch... haha, those pale in comparison to the cramps and child birth. i'll stop complaining the day a man shoots an 8 lbs child out of his penis.

     
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Home: Somewhere, East Coast, United States
About Me: Brooklyn (Bajan) Brit, who's finally carving her 30's niche, in this world. Look out Oprah here I come!
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