THIS IS MY LONGEST POST IN THE FORM OF A MINI SHORT STORY
ONE WE CAN ALL RELATE TOO... SO IF YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES...PROCEED
WE ALL HAVE GHOST, SOMEONE FROM OUR PAST, THAT THE STORY NEVER ENDED, DID US WRONG, OR LEFT US WONDERING, THESE GHOST CAN BE BIG, OR THIS GHOST CAN BE VERY SMALL, BUT EVERY ONCE IN A BLUE, THEY HAUNT US...
We use to fuck. Nothing long and drown out like pages in a Harlequin romance novel, where comas seem to go on forever, never quite bringing a sentence to a close; No we were much more straight forward than that, like an exclamation point. We went right to it!
Fuck a comma,
We were much more functional than that. We use to fuck, cause we were both at the same place, at the same time in our lives, sharing the same stories, and who would of thought, we'd end up here, and then "there" in between the pseudo sheets. We didn't know, since we both knew each other "When:"
When front teeth just came back in, and moms was still doing your hair,
and school lunch tickets was the shit
When coke bottle glasses, and reject sneakers, and 3 o'clock beat down were in full affect,
When baby fat still tugged at adolescent loins, and hard on's was an embarrassing no no
When halloweens had curfew, and streetlights on meant you were late
When downtown was the shit, to get a pair of "uptowns" just to get around
When girls was trading naps for presses, and boys were sticking fingers under dresses
When Rebooks came in all colors, and rope chains went double, and to match ur 2 finger ring
But we didn't know 10 years later, we'd end up in knowing each other in other ways, I still remember the day we met up again. It was a moderately warm day, and my mood was nothing special. I had just gotten off work, and didnt feel like going straight home, so I took the train out to my favorite stop, which was one stop from my house, just to breathe and walk around for a bit. I had thought that I heard my name, but gave it no thought that someone was really calling me. I was that deep in thought, until the voice got closer, and I was like:
"Oh snap. Wassup?"
He: "Say Word." "I thought that was you, you cut your locks."
Me: "Yup." I'm a doing me back in 2 yrs, it was two fucking hot out here, you cut yours too I see..."
He: Yeah I got tired of em, and I started to go lil bare on the top, and I aint trying to be like the dude with the half moon, on top.
We both laugh.
He: Yeah,P___ told me you was out here, but he didn't have your number, he said you went out there to go see him, how was it?
Me: Nice. He got a nice spot, facing the beach, whole house to himself, pool, the island is nice, you should go. Check your boy.
He: Yeah I know, I know, I got make peace with that, and visit him, we had kind of fell off.
Me: Yeah he told me, but ya'll were like peanut butter and jelly back in the day, didnt see one with out seeing the other, I surprise you aint made it out there.
He: "I know, but what you doing around this way, you gotta give me your number so we can link up"
Me: "No doubt, I live out this way."
He: Say word, I'm up the block from here.
Me: Hmmmmm I see.
We talked on that train station platform for another hour, about present careers, and what lead us here, and about our upward mobile aspirations, we shared car "lemon" stories that lead riding mass transit, and how stranded we felt with out our whips. And how ironic it was that we two would meet up, by chance.
Didn't take him long to call, came over, I had cooked din. It was weird how comfortable we were with one another, since we were never really friends. Even though back in the day, we ran in the same circles, went to the same classes, shared the same after school activities, we hardly talked for conversational sake, just more on a salutations tip. "Wassup." He always spoke, but never talked to me like that. We had "mutual friends" one being his boy, and long time friend, who later became one of my best (platonic) friends.
Back in school he always dated "B" girls, the one the type who went out with "B" boys
(B-Boy or B-Girl's = is a 1980's slang for a girl or guy who's always, I repeat always in fashion)
He had become a B-boy, and that gave him elite "freshman" status to date "senior" high school girls. He began to act cute on some of us, not in a rude way, but just a lil cocky, didn't hurt my feeling none,I didn't like him, but my homegirl did... never thought of him in that way to feel crushed by it, and its not like we were ever friends, we just knew each other ....."when."
Now here he is sitting across my table having dinner, we're reminiscing, and exchanging past memories, memories that involved our "mutual" comrades that kept us in the know with each other. We laughed, knowing laughs. Deep felt laughs, those no-words-needed-to-express kind of laughs. We're therapy for each other, we were both kind of homesick, kind of blue, kind of jilted from recent break ups, and we we're both kind of diggin the moment....
We had started to carve our own "familiar" niche, knowing each other in now-a-days ways... unveiling masks that we never thought about sharing. We both shared a love for wine, as he would often come over with a bottle, and put me on to new and different taste, open my taste buds up in new ways... I began to let my "now B-girl" guard down for him, as he was no longer that "B-Boy" that I knew, even if traces still could be seen from a peripheral view.
And that's how it all started, short, but deep, intense "fucking."
Neither one of us, didn't act like we didn't have a recent past, that lead us "shipwrecked" on our own gillians island... we were "rebound mates" with benefits, since we knew each other "when." Some months went on, and he became a stamp in my life that said "Here." Made me feel like I was among the priorities in his present and "friends" accounted for life.
He invited me out to parties, where we would both flirt with others, while flirting with each other on the dance floor, we had no shame, I'd let him smack my ass, while I grind up on him on the wall, we had to represent, some true brooklyn basement parties, even if the light were on...lol.
We were therapy for each other. Two home sick individuals... who took long drives together back home, while sharing and creating our own stories.
He'd pick me up from work, take me out to breakfast (we switch off, on who's treating who) do the movies, or catch a cocktail. When I moved my furniture over to a new place, but still needed to spend some time in my old apt, but had NO furniture, he came over, and slept on the bare floor with me, nothing but a chinese mat, tiny lamp, black/white tv and 2 comforters. We snuggled, and then some. Since it was winter now... we became "warm therapy" for each other.
Then spring rolls in, and we're back on the dating seen, neither one of us, seems to be filling each other in on details, but it doesnt stop our "HERE" stamp, or at least I didn't. Then one day, as if I never saw him on the train, never had him in my house, across from my table, on my chinese mat, my body against his. He's gone.
We go back to mutual friend status, another homeboy (platonic) calls me up, and tells me that he'll be in town, he want to see us both, wants to know if I ever linked with "Therapy Man" since I relocated, I told him we linked up for spell, totally down played any of our affairs, and give him "therapy mans" number. I then hear later thru the grapevine that my once Warm Therapy man" my revisited-friend-who-never-was, has got a new girl and plans on moving in with her, next month. As all of the sudden we're back at "Mutual Friend," status 2nd hand news, back to a b-boy stanze???? WTF!
I never hid my back-in-my-life-no-longer-an-ex-but-not-quite-my-man-again, to him. If anything, I told him about him upfront, in the middle, and towards the end. After all, we were therapy. Thinking back, he would go kind of silent, when ever I played phone messages, but I didnt think nothing of it, as he had his. And now I hear this news thru the "Mutual Grape Vine..."
My body goes hot, my anger cannot mask, I am hurt, b/c I knew therapy man "WHEN." Shit I I knew that n_a "Now."
And now he wanna act like he don't know me at all.
Aint that some shit.
So today when I see a car, like his, I went into "auto-memory mode", start putting some pedal to gas, to see if I could catch a face, remember his plates, remember his face.... Didn't even realize that some old one year old shit started to flare right then and there, and it was then I remembered.
I no longer know him now.... I only knew him "when."